


Not Forgotten

by WatchforWitches



Series: Whumptober 2019 [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Dies, M/M, Sad, Whumptober 2019, whumptober day 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 10:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20852033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchforWitches/pseuds/WatchforWitches
Summary: Magnus knew the saying. That someone never truly died so long as nobody forgot their name.





	Not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 of Whumptober- Shaky Hands 
> 
> I can't promise I will do every single day of this list, I'm a bachelors animation student so I basically have no free time haha. But I hope that you like this short fic. Heed the warnings, it's not very happy.

Magnus knew the saying. That someone never truly died so long as nobody forgot their name. He had known long ago his husband would never truly die, not in that sense. Alexander Lightwood- Bane would be remembered as long as there was shadowhunters, as long as Magnus was alive, as long as Max or Raphael were alive. Alec would live on, and he warmed himself with the thought of this when he looked at his aging husband in the mirror of their bathroom, sneaking his arms around his torso, pressing a kiss into his neck. He remembers that morning, nearly 20 years ago now. He had kissed a trail down Alec’s body. He had made him late for work and didn’t regret it at all. In the happy post orgasm smile that Magnus got, he remembers thinking Alec could never die, not when he felt so solid, so alive. 

Magnus had been wrong about this. Realized the world cared very little for what Magnus ever thought, and this had been no different. On a quiet winter morning, after a nasty attack led to a nasty infection that Alec’s aged body could not fight, that Magnus’ magic could not fight, Alec died in the infirmary of the institute he grew up in. Magnus remembers screaming, and crying, and holding his sons when they came to say goodbye, and remembers the quiet. For the first time in over 80 years, Magnus goes home to an empty apartment. Countless friends had offered to stay with him, his sons offered to come home for awhile. Magnus had given each of them a small smile, and shook his head. He wanted to be alone. He told his sons to go home, told Max to hug his boyfriend, told Raphael the same about his wife and his children. He needed to be alone for the time being, he needed to process that he would truly never see Alec’s smiling face when he woke up the next morning. 

He had reflected on the saying, had thought about the complexities of the concept. He could say Alec’s name as much as he wanted, it didn’t mean he was here, didn’t mean Magnus could see or touch him. He had known that this was their fate, had never wanted Alec to become immortal, not for him, not for their marriage. They had talked about it more times than Magnus could count, but talking was not the same as living it, not the same as being the one who was left behind in the wake of this pain. 

He was standing now, in the institute, dressed in all white. It was something that he had put together years ago, when Alec had made a comment about needing all white to attend a funeral. Magnus had conjured him a suit, and thinking about it for a week, conjured one for himself. It was simple, for Magnus’ standards of dress. The white dress pants were slim and tapered at the end, the button up dress shirt had a high pristine collar. The white jacket was plain, simple, completely matching the rest of the outfit, except for the small black embroidery placed over his heart. The wedded union rune. Magnus had never been able to take the rune, wearing it on a necklace instead, but Alec had it, emblazoned on his chest, on his hand. There was physical proof that Alec Lightwood had married, that he had belonged to someone in a way that no one else would.

There was ritual in this. When a shadowhunter died, their spouse had the option to get rid of the rune, to undo this ceremonial binding, to release their still alive souls to the option to find love again. Alec and him had talked about that too. Magnus told him he was ridiculous, told him when he took a vow he meant it, told him he wouldn’t stop wearing the rune. Alec wanted him to love again, to marry again, to live. Magnus understood, but he refused to break this bond, he would always be Alexander’s, the part of himself that loved Alec would always be Alec’s. Even now. 

He was standing in his tux, his sons at his sides in matching attire. The words from the silent brothers were background noise to Magnus. He was looking at his husband’s face, hidden behind the thin white sheet. He could see the outline of his nose, the jut of his chin, the faint impression of lips he knew better than his own. He thought of those words, the grandiose idea that no matter what, Alec would be remembered. 

His hands were shaking, he clenched them into fists fitfully, doing nothing to avail the tremor. He could almost imagine the feeling of Alec grasping his hands, holding them to his chest, his lips. Telling Magnus that he was okay, that they were okay. 

He shakes his hands, holds on to his sons, wipes the stray tear away from his cheek, grasping Max’s hand, Raphael’s. 

When the silent brother asks for the name of the fallen to be spoken, for the name of the remembered to be said by the family left remaining, the family left to continue his story, Magnus draws in a shaking breath, and forces himself to understand this is not the last time that Alec’s name will be spoken, no matter what his broken heart wants him to believe. He looks at his boys, their families, his husband, and takes a breath. In a clear voice, loud enough for everyone to hear, loud enough to vibrate through the institute, he steels himself for his family. 

“Alexander Lightwood-Bane.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, even though it's sad, if you enjoyed or have any suggestions for story ideas for any of the prompts on the list, please leave them in comments below!


End file.
